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So….I fell off the weight loss wagon and made a crater the size of London underneath me!

I-fell-off-the-weight-loss-wagon

I hate this. I’m so ashamed and disappointed in myself words can barely begin to describe.

I’ve fallen off the wagon, the slimming world diet, eating healthy, exercising….just about every healthy wagon in my life I’ve fallen off and not lightly. I know why and how it happened but that doesn’t comfort me in all honesty.

There’s a huge part of me doesn’t want to write  and publish this post, which is why it’s taken me so long because, in a strange way it makes my failure real and I know that sounds stupid because it’s clearly real. You an I can see the weight I’ve put on, I can  feel the weight, but just admitting it to you all here publicly is so hard because not only do I feel like I’ve let myself down, but I’ve also let you down.

“This is it”

Went I started slimming world and started losing weight more than I had in the past I said to myself “This is it, I’m never putting this weight back on again, ever!”,  I so adamant about that. I just thought what was the point, why ruin all the effort I’ve put it only to have to do it all again. I’ve seen people before lose loads of weight to only then put it back on, we’ve all seen that right?

Sure some were crash dieters and that was bound to happen with them, full stop, others were slimming world and weight watchers and they’d done really well only to lose it a year/two in and I kinda just looked at them and thought “WHY?!?!? How have you let that happen, all that effort you put it, wasted!”.

I think that’s why it’s taken me so long to admit to you all, because of the way I’ve looked at people before I thought that’s the way I’d get looked at and I was simply ashamed at myself.

My, why…

I now know the WHY, well for me anyway. Things got on top of me and my weight loss took second, third, fourth place all the way till it wasn’t even on my radar anymore.

I started a new job early last year driving lorries with a new company and the hours were mental, don’t get me wrong I’m not afraid of working long hours and love earning money but doing 15 hours shifts with only 9 hours between finishing and starting the next left me no time at all to do anything towards my diet. I had time to shower, eat something as quick as possible and then try and get as much sleep as I could before starting again.

By the time the weekend rolled around I was so knackered all I wanted to do was have a lay-in and relax. The last thing I wanted to do was start cooking or go to the gym for a workout!

The diet took the back seat

It was a massive change from my previous job that I was in when I lost all the weight, I started at 9 and finished at 5 sharp, I knew when and even where I would have my lunch break, the whole job was just a well organised routine that I knew inside out.

Starting at 9 gave me the opportunity to go to the gym before work and it was that kind of job that even if I was 20 mins late I could quite easily catch up, and being home by 5:30/6pm was sweet, I used to make my sandwiches for the next day’s lunch, cooked my dinner for that night and even done some bulk cooking for the coming week.

Everything ran like clockwork and when that I lost all that free time and routine, my exercise, my diet, my cooking, planning and preparation all went down the drain.

Back to square one!

I’ve now hit rock bottom. I’ve put all the weight I’d lost back on which just sucks. I’m quite literally back to square one.

Now it’s time I picked myself up sorted things once and for all, I’ve had enough of this, it needs to stop, not just for 6 months or a year, it needs to be for life. Period.

I’ve re-joined slimming world and I AM going to lose all the weight I have before, and more this time, but what I’m going to try and do is put my health, weight loss, fitness and planning at a higher level of importance on “life’s to-do list” and not treat it like something that can be sacrificed, forgotten and swept under the rug when things get tough.

I need find a balance where nothing gets left behind, I need to mould my life around losing weight and eating healthy, not just because I’m sick and tired of failing, nor solely for my health, it’s about being happy and balanced to do everything I want to do with my life in every aspect. Losing weight, being fit and healthy will do nothing but positive things and help me achieve everything else I want to achieve.

Time to fight the beast

I know I’m not the only one out there that’s fallen. I also know that everyone single one of you that have fallen like me wants to get back up and fight this beast just like I do.

So why don’t we? Let’s do it together, stronger than ever. Deep down I know we can win, I know we can achieve everything we want, if we want it bad enough….the question is….

Do you really want to lose weight, get healthy and live the life you dream of? I F%$K!NG DO!

Darran Mansfield
 

Hi! I'm Darran Mansfield, I've been on the Slimming World diet for about 10 months, and I've lost 5 and a half stone (74lbs/34kgs), I'm by no means a weight loss expert, but I do have first hand experience, and that's what I'm here to share with you. I'm looking for a healthy, sustainable lifestyle that's enjoyable yet maintainable in today's modern life. If that's what you want, you should stick around, I'm sure you'll find something helpful and don't forget to say hi to me on Facebook, Twitter, Google+ or Instagram.

Click Here to Leave a Comment Below 23 comments
Gareth

I’ve only been with SW for a month, but I can already see how tedious it will become. Good luck with getting back on track – keep us updated

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    Darran Mansfield

    Hi Gareth, thanks for the comment, yeah it can be if im being honest, it’s all down to planning, if we can get that down to a T it’ll work a treat…but that’s like everything isn’t it lol. Make sure you keep us updated with your progress too buddy 🙂

    Reply
Carolyn

Hi Darren, so glad your back! First weigh in at S/W tonight since re-joining !! We’re all in this together!

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    Darran Mansfield

    Thanks Carolyn, couldn’t have said it better myself! Let me know if you need anything won’t you 🙂

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Trish

Hi Darran, good on you for returning to your blog and slimming world. You obviously have guts and stamina and more importantly determination. The reason I say this is because you are not afraid to voice your feelings and you will succeed partly because you understand where your failings were and where your commitment is needed. You have helped a lot of people to succeed in their slimming campaign throu your honesty.We all need a bit of help in life choose what. All that remains to say is Thankyou for returning with your inspirational blog and good luck on your journey I am travelling with you. Best wishes Trish x

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    Darran Mansfield

    Hey Trish, Thank you so much for your kind words 🙂

    It really wasn’t easy posting this about my recent failure, but I’m so pleased and happy that I did, the response has been amazing, I’ve had so many kind and wonderful emails because of it, all supporting me. It makes me feel so happy that this blog is helping people and myself at the same time and I want to build on that more and push it further to help as many as possible.

    I’m glad your along for the ride Trish, keep us updated with how things go and feel free to email me anytime if you need any help 🙂

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Elaine

Hi Darran, I am sure I was not the only person who said “me too”. But well done for getting back onto the band wagon! That is the hardest step. I am sure you will get yourself organised once again, I totally agree that ‘planning is key’. Great to see you back, and I am looking forward to reading your updates. Take care.

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    Darran Mansfield

    Thanks Elaine, yeah I’ve had quite a lot of emails saying “me too” and it really does show that we’re all in this together. Organising and planning, now that’s the real hard part of diets/healthy lifestyles!

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Sarah

Hi Darran, it is great to see you back and blogging again. I agree that each and every one of us has been there before, and the biggest battle is admitting its gone pear-shaped, drawing a line under it and getting stuck in again. The most important thing I got from this blog post is that you’re back on that wagon again! We’re all with you, chuck!

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    Darran Mansfield

    It’s great to be back Sarah, such a warm welcoming return. Yeah you’re right, that is the hardest part but like you say draw a line in it….now’s the time to kill it! Thanks for the support 🙂

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Melvin Richter

Im trying Compulsive Overeaters.
Its an offshoot of Alcoholics Anonymis.
The willpower thing just seems to fail me. I did the same regain ll the weight slso.you are not alone.
Mel

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    Darran Mansfield

    I’ve looked at this in the past Melvin but never been to a meeting or tried, I’d love to hear how you get on, email me anytime buddy, always here to help if needed.

    Reply
Louie

I have been following your journey, you are a inspiration to me. Keep going man, you’ve totally got this!

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    Darran Mansfield

    Wow! Thanks Louie, really appreciate the support and i’m happy that I’ve helped 🙂

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Trish

Hi Darran, I’m afraid to say iv lost my way again. Each time I get to 1lb off my first stone I decide to binge on anything just to eat like I’m not going to have any more food. This has been going on for months it’s like a mental block as if I’m afraid to succeed. I want to join a gym as my exercise is none. Existent but I joined a year ago and payed the monthly fee but didn’t atend. It’s like I’m doing good cos im a member and paying so mentally I felt I was doing something.Im sorry if this all sounds unreal but I wouLD APPRECIATE any advice you or anyone can offer me. I really need to get past that first stone hurdle at least. Thanks for taking the time to read this best wishes Trish

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Sharon

Hi Darran, I’m not sure if I’ve ever actually left a comment here before but I visit your site a lot for info. I lost 3 stone with Weightwatchers in 2012 and then lots of different things happened, and I am now a stone heavier than I was when I joined them. I’m following Slimming World at home since the beginning of the year, down a half stone, but I’m afraid that I’ll screw it up again. I write a little plan every night for the next day, it really helps even if it’s something totally stupid like “use the leftover mince for lunch with salad” or crap like that. The days that I don’t plan (like today), I end up with no breakfast and a yogurt for lunch, then I know I’ll be starving tonight. You can do this, you have done this, you will do this. Best of luck and I’ll be following and tagging along behind you 🙂 Sharon x

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carley

Hiya! So glad to see your back on it, we have all had our moments but its facing up to it thats the hardest part…anyway stick to it as when we both at target we need to let bbc3 know hahaha oh and front cover of the mag ???? good luck

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    Darran Mansfield

    DUDE!!! Thanks for the support Carley, your right admitting it and getting back to it is the hardest part, your on, that will be so cool when were at our goal weights, your doing amazing, hows things going for you…any hints and tips to share?

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Ann

Hey Darren – I just found your site while looking for a “it’s a five week month” (ie, another week before payday) lunch, and needed to know at 6am, what Mug Shots had by way of sins. Now, late for work as I have been reading your story (and picked up the tip about ham in the mugshot; brill). Without wishing to go over old ground…..WE HAVE ALL DONE IT! I have been losing and gaining for more years than I can remember, but, if I didnt yo yo diet, I would just keep going up. WELL DONE MATE FOR GETTING BACK ON IT. I am back on it (again….could it be for the last time), but it has taken me ages to lose a stone, simply because I LIKE MY FOOD AND WINE. But, it is going down, as will yours, particularly with your evident encyclopedic knowledge. You CANNOT FAIL mate. Good luck babe xx

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    Darran Mansfield

    Hi Ann, Glad you found the site…opps my bad for making you late haha, I love adding meat to mugshots, I’ve got to the point where I feel “cheated” if its only noodles in there! I had one today and took a little tub of smoked bacon and mixed that in….AMAZING!

    Your spot on and very kind and supporting, I’m like you and LOVE food, I just need to control it and slowly but surely I’ll get there…we both will 🙂

    Keep in touch

    Ps. encyclopedic knowledge….I LOVE THAT COMMENT!!! HAHA

    Reply
Deborah

Darran, It’s so inspiring to see someone who has the courage to be honest. I admire that you are not letting this set-back defeat you, or letting it define who you are. Absolutely awesome.

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Poison

Darran, Even though l only just found your site, and from what l see, most comments are 9 months old, l felt l had to share aswell……l also fell off the wagon, and piled all that l had lost, and then some ! However, like you, l felt so very bad about it, and have joined once again SW. Hope we both make it !

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    Darran Mansfield

    Hi Poison, Thanks for the comment, I really appreciate you sharing. It’s horrible falling of the wagon, I feel so bad letting myself and you, my loyal readers down. I’m back on slimming world and slowly pound by pound we can do it….keep in touch 🙂

    Reply

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